I love kitties. Part of their charm is that they love you but they are never all-in. They sit with their back to you. They wont let you pet them unless they are in the mood. If you pet them too much they may bite you. They throw up on your floor from time to time and they poop like there is no tomorrow so you spend a good deal of your time scooping poop. This cat’s name is Sandy. She ate some crayons and now she is vomiting a spectrum of wax.
This is a green fish with teeth being fed kitties instead of fish food. His name is Charles the Green. Green means he isn’t experienced. He isn’t quite sure if kitties are real or part of a simulated reality being pulled over his eyes by a mischievous deity. He is pondering the caloric content of sweet fish food kitties and wondering if he should wait for his lexapro withdrawal to finish up before having dinner.
Adam and Eve, according to the creation myth of the Abrahamic religions, were the first man and woman. They are central to the belief that humanity is in essence a single family, with everyone descended from a single pair of original ancestors. It also provides the basis for the doctrines of the fall of man and original sin that are important beliefs in Christianity, although not held in Judaism or Islam.
I love Biblical imagery. It is so surrealistic and creepy. The bible is beautiful and its stories are like regions in our brain installed by Western culture to guide us through the world. But many parts of it are little more than trolling. It is a collection of memes from the 6th Century BCE used to torment and prod. Teehee girls are responsible for original sin. God made them spontaneously bleed as punishment. Umad? Yeah umad.
Monsters come out of their closet at night. But they only show up when you are scared and your back is turned to them. The tall transparent monster is named Andy. He likes to shine a flashlight through his head at night. It tints the room purple and blue like his soul. When you are in your bed in the dark – sometimes you can catch a glimpse of these guys while your eyes adjust.
This is Wilber the Gimp mascot. He is an imaginary animal called a Gimp. He is a friendly hybrid animal who represents the opensource photo manipulation and painting application called Gimp. It is free and awesome. It is every bit as complexed and cool as Photoshop and is basically a toy for making cool pixely stuff for print and the web. You should download it today and start having fun. This is Wilber as a 90s art student with a Nirvana shirt a pallet and two paint brushes. He listens to grunge on his boombox as he paints pictures of dragons and naked girls for his painting 101 class.
This is one of my favorite memes – it is a clown vomiting a sparkly rainbow into a commode, a porcelain throne even. He is worshiping the god of memes – the totem of kek. He represents creation – he is an artist giving birth to art. This is one of those images created and propagated by my psychotic friends on 4chan. Few people know that clown bile is rainbow colored. Some candy makers use it to flavor their confections. I love clowns. They are so delightfully spooky, corrupt and inebriated.
This is Mac Miller. He is a great rapper with a great flow. He is giving his thumbs up hand gesture. This illustration is based on his most dope logo and mascot. I took his simplified character and fleshed him out with cool hip-hop clothes and a Nike hat. Donald Trump is probably the coolest unintentional campaign song ever. I sometimes wonder why basically all rappers boast about living the life of Donald Trump and how being politically correct is a trap – then come out as such outspoken opponents of Trump. Grow a pair Mac Miller. Defend your art.
This is a Dodo. His name is Michael Tennant. He walks around the forest with no fear and no marketable skills. He is unable to function in the world. Nature is harsh and unforgiving and his brain is soft like a puppy’s belly. Michael is the last of his species and he is unable to understand the significance of extinction.
I love the Rolling Stones. They have been making incredibly good and relevant rock music since the 1960s. They also have one of the best logos ever created. It was made by English graphic designer John Pasche though many believe that Andy Warhol designed it. This is a digital painting of the the logo made to look like a poofy realistic airbrush painting. One of my most sad Christmas memories is of being home from college on a cold overcast Christmas day, riding around my hometown listening to Sticky Fingers by myself. I spent most of my time in and since college by myself making art and listening to music. My style is heavily influenced by psychedelic 70s illustration with its fanciful airbrushed creatures and its Pushpin bent, Terry Gilliam style and happy but slightly sinister tone .
This is a rave monster wearing pajamas. He dances with glowsticks in the dark. When he has had too many Benadryl the walls melt and iridescent spiders crawl around on the dance floor. If they bite you – reality explodes in a massive swirling psychedelic morass of strange alien faces and odd hiccuping electronic sounds.
I love Andy Warhol. This is Andy with a rainbow nosebleed. He ranks with Picasso and Duchamp as one of the three most influential artists of the 20th century. He destroyed painting, fine art and the concept of the artist as a singular original creative force. He also glorified the art of the mind. Fine art stands as the highest expression of western culture. And by destroying it he shows his disgust with western military, cultural and economic imperialism. This is a caricature of him with a giant scarred mechanical nose. He was extremely self conscious of his looks and it controlled his life. He wore an ill-fitting white wig and spoke in interviews with a mechanical manner. All of his artistic power came from his his nosebleeds and giant scarred red nose.
This is an illustration of nerd picking his nose with his thumb. He has taped glasses, braces and high waisted pants. His name is Bill. Nerds are among the internet’s best people. They may be goofy irl but they are smart and friendly and well spoken online.
This is Snoo – Reddit’s lovable white alien mascot. I painted him in photoshop with a yoga 2 in 1. I am the digital art equivalent of the guy at the fair who paints t-shirts with an airbrush. I love Reddit – it has all of the beauty and horror of the internet with a semblance of safety. I also love Snoo so I gave him some feet.
Funny blue monster wearing a Santa hat. This is a festive chubby monster named Chet with yellow eyes standing around waiting for Christmas to come and for Santa to show up and bring him some Xbox games.
Jacques Derrida is one of the most well known twentieth century philosophers. He invented a form of analysis called Deconstruction. Although not purely negative, deconstruction is primarily concerned with something like a critique of – aka a caustic assault on – the Western philosophical tradition and the torching of Western culture as a whole. Deconstruction is the empirical verisimilitude of elongated memes that have bent under the weight of world culture. Finding meaning in the wage slavery of profundity is synonymous with yellow cat of happiness and scared purple dog of anxiety. His assaults on Western culture were driven and informed by his experience of anti semitism in French Algeria as a boy.
Funny banana is such a great meme. I found him on 4chan a few years ago – originally I think he was a rendering of a 3-d model. He is a silly banana with a great trolly facial expression. He is embarrassed about removing his peel and feels naked as he holds it out in front of him. He takes anthropomorphism to the next level. This is funny banana as a bananalet and I made him shorter so that he reduces better. I also gave him blue eyes, some jelly bracelets, a few gold teeth and a Chiquita sticker. On a side note – I painted this with my new Bamboo Ink. It is an amazingly good stylus for windows tablets. The stylus that came with my Yoga is too small and it doesn’t feel as though it has as much resolution for fine movement and clicks. See my review here.