Eastern Bluebird Option 2

Eastern Bluebird Illustration

Eastern Bluebird Illustration

The cool thing about digital art is that it is 100 percent clean and surgically precise. Compared to painting with liquid plastic on top of animal hair – it is as clean and ordered as the room Nasa keeps moon rocks in. Within a psd file – you have layers and layers of virtual labeled drawers of reality that you can open up and manipulate and change until you are happy. You virtually massage virtual points of light with microscopic detail. You have absolute control and the ability to pull up art from 3 years ago and add touches to it perfectly and then hit save and you have an iteration of a piece of reality from the past. It is like a crystalized time slice that you can hold up with a pair of tweezers and obsess over. This is an eastern bluebird that I painted at my grandmas house. It reminds me of eating cereal and watching them in Winter at 6am as they messily dump seeds out of the feeder and onto the ground so they can be more comfortable eating them. He reminds me of irrational anxiety and worrying about my grandma’s health. I took the butterfly out of his mouth and made some changes to his shape and to the  wood he is perched on.

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Zombie Soccer Player

zombie soccer player

zombie soccer player

This is an undead soccer player posing with his foot on a soccer ball. Zombie soccer players are slow but they are methodical and careful ball handlers. They kick the with machine like precision and have great ball control. This guys name is Zod. He is isn’t very smart but he is loyal and consistent.

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Cartoon Kiss Fan Kid

KISS Fan Devil Horns Cartoon Illustration

KISS Fan Devil Horns Cartoon

Kiss was a bit before my time. I remember teenagers loving them when I was very young. They seemed like devil music and the type of band that the bad kids liked. By today’s standard they are just straight ahead corporate arena rock with makeup. Hardly anything sinister or subversive. But their iconic face paint is cool.

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Vampire Bat Sucking Blood

vampire-bat-sucking-blood-toes

vampire-bat-sucking-blood-toes

I have a terrible irrational fear of falling asleep in bed with no covers on my feet. It goes all the way back to someone warning me when I was a kid of the danger that vampire bats pose to your exposed toes. I absolutely cannot fall asleep without at least a sheet to cover my toes – no matter how thin. Even if it is 100 degrees out and I am sweating – if my toes are hanging out – I’m not getting to sleep. I mentioned this silly phobia in an earlier post and figured I better draw it. Hah this turned out way creepier than I intended. I think it’s the expression. xD

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Fat Chef

fat chef chef holding serving tray

fat chef chef holding serving tray

This is a reworking of a Chef with a silver serving plate that I did earlier. He is a French style chef with a white coat, tall hat and a goatee. I threw some chucks on him for fun. His favorite meal to cook is sea bass and wild rice with alien caviar. Fat cartoon chef.

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Hipster With a Red Trump Hat

hipster-with-red-trump-hat

hipster-with-red-trump-hat


Hipsters are so tainted with irony, so buzzed with chi-tea lattes that they refuse to wear the political schwag of their left wing buds. They are forced by their ideology of hipsterism to wear Trump hats to show how deeply contrarian they are and to display their contempt for the system. Nothing is more ironic than ironically wearing a trump hat when you are a registered socialist. They do it for the lulz. And because they are against lefties taxing their trust fund.

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Picasso As Hitler

picasso and hitler fused

adolph hitler as pablo picasso

When I peer back into the horror of the 20th century buying violent civilization wide slaughter and backwards noses focused through the bent lens of YouTube and yellow tinted sun glasses before amazed by and on the  brutality of modernity It is like a nightmare punctuated in green water squawking bird sound and strident automobile bull horns. Picasso is seen as one of the most important painters in history. He reacted  to the brutality that consumed his home country and the western world as a whole by murdering art. His violent reaction to an era of great upheaval and slaughter has made him the fascist dictator of modern art. I understand his importance and what he was destroying – but eventually every rebel becomes the establishment. I hate what Picasso has been made into by many generations of art critics and art history teachers. When I look at his analytical cubist paintings I don’t see the work of a visual art virtuoso. I see a smudgy mess. His paintings are screaming to be painted with a different more nimble medium than oil paint. Oil paint is to digital paint as a spoon is to a scalpel or a harpsichord is to the piano forte. The digital medium is infinitely malleable and fast. You can create perfect curves with perfect continuous tone and then you can also make changes to them perfectly with very little effort. This is a picture of Picasso fused with Hitler in the style of a cubist painting.

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Sentient Sandwich

sentient sandwich

sentient sandwich


Sometimes sandwiches become aware. This is Jorge the mystery meat sandwich monster. He has feelings and wants to be your friend. If you eat him he will give you a tummy ache.

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Skull And Bones Cartoon

skull and cross bones with yellow eyes and a blue flame behind

skull and cross bones

This is a friendly but lonely skull and bones. He is worried that he will be hit by Irma. He watches TWC and it looks like she is going to miss west.  To relieve his anxiety and occupy his time he likes to chew the rigid ice of his starbux black tea. He chews so hard that his fillings make sparks.

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Yeti Cartoon

Friendly Yeti With White Fur and blue Hands and Feet. He is wearing a purple and red scarf.

Happy Yeti Cartoon

The Yeti is com­pletely mis­un­der­stood. They are friendly pri­mates who enjoy noth­ing bet­ter than orange sherbet, netflix and a good game of COD. Yetis love the cold. They live at the top of tall mountains where it is always cold and snowy. They like to eat snow cones and listen to podcasts about science. They seem pretty chill but it can get lonely way up there. This is also called a snow monster.

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