This is an illuminati mascot with orange feet and hands. He has only one eye so he finds it difficult to judge distances, hit a baseball and make those magic eye posters work. He literally stands there for hours at Spencer Gifts waiting for them to work – and nothing. He owns the world, runs every government on the planet, runs the music industry and dictates what every movie in hollywood is about but he feels left out. He feels rejected. His lack of stereoscopic vision has obliterated his sense of self worth.
This is a happy Christmas monster named Chris. He likes to give his monster buddies presents that he has wrapped in shiny paper. This season he is giving out onions and slime. They are his favorite things in life.
This is Hondo the Christmas Zombie. He loves to walk around malls around christmas. He is amused by how normies react to his appearance. He is harmless though as he only eats canned moo cow brains. He likes to season his brains with cinnamon around christmas. It gives him that warm Holiday festive feeling. He has a snake buddy that acts as his tongue as he lost his in an accident.
This is pretty girl riding a red vespa scooter. She is driving around delivering gifts to her friends on Christmas.
I love cardinals. I used to watch them endlessly. Their beauty is gaudy in a world that rewards drab colors that would let them blend in to hide from predators. They are like a bloodred beacon against a snowy background – it is the most amazing contrast in winter. It is cool to think that they were designed to be this beautiful by female cardinals over thousands of years. They are tufted finches that eat seeds. Their beak is a neon orange wedge designed for tough seeds.
Arab man with a cheek full of Khat. It is a green leafy plant that people in Africa and the Middle East chew to get a feeling of euphoria and excitement. It is a drug that the WHO does not classify as seriously problematic. It is chewed like tobacco and coca leaves. Chewers stuff so much in their cheek that they look like hamsters. And its not unlike how rednecks look when they are chewing Tobacco.
I love Spongebob. He is so chipper and high on life. He makes me want to get a job flipping burgers. There must be a zen to menial jobs that you can take pleasure in doing over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over and over until you get it right. Lately Spongebob has been down and life has been gnawing at him. So he started taking Lexapro and sometimes he feels happy but others he feels depersonalized. He feels like he is observing himself from somewhere outside of his body. He is losing his teeth and has has dried out and sometimes small parts of his body fall off.
There is a cool bike shop in Statesboro called The Bike Shop. I bought an aluminum Trek mountain bike there and it is great. This is a caricature of the guy who owns it. He also looks a bit like my Uncle. Get rekt Dick. Cyclist cartoon.
This is an Eastern Bluebird illustration. They used to come to bird houses in my grandma’s backyard. You could sit and watch them work constantly to build a nest and then feed their young. They would work as a team – tirelessly. I once found a dead male under a feeder in the coldest part of Winter. Turns out that they can actually freeze to death. It must be brutal to survive in the wild as a tiny bird.
This is a caricature of US president Donald Trump from the Side. It amuses me how angry he makes the media with his trolling. They deserve a little trolling sometimes to be honest. Trump has the persona of a disgruntled construction worker. It seems haphazard but it is obviously carefully crafted to appeal to the angry voters he is trying to win over. He is like Adam Carolla with a little more money and way better hair.