This is an inquisitive green monster with big blue eyes and a blue visor. He is holding his favorite kitty next to him.
Green Monster Standing
Koi Illustration
This is a spot illustration of a Koi with lily pads. He is eating algae off the sides of the forcefield that is holding reality up. He sometimes thinks he sees giant two legged monsters on the other side watching him.
Nike Global Brand
I created a logo for Nike Global that has five multicolored Nike swooshes that represent the spinning motion of a stylized and minimal globe. I used saturated primary and secondary colors that represent an inclusive spectrum of ethnicities in a global community. I also used Futura because it is Nike’s official font and two different weights to act as a word break.
Deadpool With a Big Head
This is deadpool with snazzy unicorn bedroom slippers. I always found it ironic that the most hated artist in comic book history also created the coolest superhero ever. He is smart and funny and self aware and he makes fun of comics and all of the characters, tropes, ideas and gimmics in them.
Fat Geisha Girl
This is a chubby Geisha who got fat eating sushi flavored ice-cream and cotton candy ramen noodles. She plays Mario sunshine and drinks screw top wine.
Police Officer Cartoon
This is a Chicago police officer. Schools should do a better job of teaching kids how to interact with cops. If you are friendly and respectful cops are some of the best friends you could ever have. The secret is to do what they say and if you have a disagreement — do it in court. Never challenge a police officer because it will end with you getting cracked over the head.
Kitty Cat Cartoon
This is an illustration of a cute gray kitty with a bell collar around his neck. I love kitties. They are domesticated but they have a wild streak inside them. It is cool to watch their predator instincts kick in when they are hunting a tiny bug or lizard. They go into a hyper cute ninja mode that is a remnant of their lion ancestors. Bells are like a kitty alarm system to protect our songbird buddies from being eaten. This is one of my favorite animals.
Smiling Peach Illustration
This is a smiling peach illustration from Peach county. He reminds me of going to get peach ice cream with my grandma when it was 100 degrees outside and the humidity was 100 percent. I remember giant puffy white clouds stretching up to 50 thousand feet, benzos, ice cold car air conditioners and driving about 30 miles per hour in a 55 zone. My grandma despised me for being younger and more intelligent than she was. I used to listen to lectures on the bible just to school her on subjects she thought she was an expert on. BTW the Septuagint is the earliest Greek translation of the Hebrew scriptures known as the Torah. You have to know this to argue with my grandma.
Purple Monster Four Arms
This is a purple monster with four arms and rainbow colored teeth. He is at peace with his ugliness. He takes Benadryl to sleep. Sometimes when he takes more than four he gets tiny yellow birds that land on him and chirp mysterious code like bird song.
Happy Baby Cartoon
A baby is a happy little monster who grunts and drools and makes strange bodily noises. They live to be loved and taken care of. Here is bubbles without the bubbles.
Fat Guy Riding a Scooter
I love when fat people ride scooters. The contrast in size is shocking and funny. This guy’s name is Roscoe. His street name is Big Love. He is a dedicated Broni who rides his vespa scooter to the laundromat to pickup homeless chicks. He gets disability and he woos the ladies with his designer shoes and name brand laundry detergent.
Old Macintosh computer
This is an old Macintosh computer. It represents how prospective employers see me. I think they are too intellectually challenged to comprehend that people get better at difficult jobs as they become more experienced. As Malcolm Gladwell pointed out: the 60,000 hour rule dictates that after about 20 years we become an expert at the jobs we practice. You clowns need to recognize expertise when you see it and stop penalizing the people who will make you rich.
Creepy Red Fish Cartoon
Creepy red fish cartoon. Chuck the fish lives in the un-chlorinated and brackish water under grandmas pool cover. He likes to eat orange algae and tiny paddle bugs for dindin. It gives him mountains of icky energy to swim around in tight circles to impress and or creep out the beautiful lady fish.