This fish is called Jed. He lives in the dirty green water of Grandma’s covered swimming pool. He eats trapped tiger beetles and paddle bugs and poops in the water until it is cloudy. He swims around aimlessly in giant arcs of boredom. He is blue with green eyes, purple lips and fins.
This was inspired by a trip to petco. I watched a baby chameleon stalk and eat a cricket for about 15 minutes. It was pretty bad ass to watch his prehensile tail and freaky feet in action. I kid you not — they have alien feet.
This is happy doggy Zap. He has a mischievous air about him. He likes to prance around the back yard marking his territory with squirts and little packages. That’s right — he left a package for you on the ol’ rug.
Eugene the happy but socially inept purple monster loves his new droid. His favorite new app is Skymap. He uses it to keep track of NEAs. He is wearing a nerd beanie, round nerd glasses, 4 arms to hold 4 gadgets.
Aquatic carnivores are so freaking cute and cuddly. This guy has just targeted a certain unsuspecting, disparaged, top heavy, tube top wearing pink herring.
Four armed fire nosed snow monsters live in the more liberal parts of Western Antarctica. They toot fire, recite poems by Coleridge and use their antennae to communicate with their reptilian overlords.
Rad the half pipe shredding solipsistic jelly monster wants more than anything to skate his heart out but his board just passes right through him.
I sometimes see this rotund monster in starbux. He always sits at a table by himself with his back to me – listening to lectures on quantum mechanics and watching The Cleveland Show.
This is a silly mexican gunfighter based on yosemite sam. He is angry, short and has chapped lips and a giant nose. He curses in spanish and listens to ranchero music.
I love neckbeards. They are neurotic and have autism, bad hygiene and pee in bottles but they are some of the best people on the internet. Neckbeard tech support geeks love ponis and drunken chat rooms. They are forever alone and miserable but loyal, smart and good talkers behind a keyboard.