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Silly Monsters Riding Firetruck

monsters riding firetruck

monsters riding firetruck

Monsters like to ride around small towns on old fashioned firetrucks with their monster buds. They ride around in circles blasting music, waving at random people and smiling. They are too timid to put out fires but they like the idea of fire hoses and saving people.

 

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Creepy Ice Cream Truck

creepy ice cream truck driver waving

creepy ice cream truck driver waving


One of my earliest memories is going out on summer evenings with a parent and getting an ice cream from the creepy ice cream truck. Back then Summer seemed to last a year – thunderstorms were extra scary, the cicadas were loud and the humidity was strangely comforting. He had the same ice cream flavors that we had at snack time in Kindergarten class. They were all $1 and came with a flat wooden spoon in a paper pouch.

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TSC Rocket Cartoon

TSC Rocket

TSC ROCKET

TSC is a company in the Mojave desert about an hour from Bakersfield. They produce the spaceships for Richard Branson’s Company Virgin Galactic. TSC stands for The Spaceship Company.The people who work there have superhuman intelligence and probably the best job on the planet. It is amazing that a group of people as cool as this is located so close to the armpit of california. This is a whimsical purple cartoon hipster rocket illustration for the portfolio.

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Angry Bird Driving Car

angry bird driving car

angry bird driving car

I saw the Angry Birds movie and I loved it. It is pretty funny and has an amazing cast.  It is also easily one of my favorite games ever. I have spent many hours with the zen of perfect physics trying to destroy green pigs with bird missiles. It is amazing the empire Rovio built with one free to download casual game. They literally took over the world. This is an illustration of an Angry Bird driving a car. One of my pet peeves is angry and unsafe drivers. I am from small towns allover Georgia and the roads are relatively peaceful and safe there. But out here on the West Coast I see at least one insanely unsafe/angry driver – usually from LA – on the freeway every day. It frightens me how accustomed to dangerous situations a commuter can get – so that he can weave in and out of traffic at high speed without giving it a second thought. People who do this should lose their license and be forced to ride the bus. The Ozzys are on to something with their strict driving laws. I really hate angry and unsafe drivers. Life is too short and precious to lose it behind the wheel in a tin can.

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Blonde Kid Riding Bigwheel

Blonde Kid Riding Bigwheel

Blonde Kid Riding a Bigwheel

This is a blonde kid in Spiderman pajamas riding a classic red bigwheel. The coolest toy in the world for a kid is any kind of pedal vehicle. I remember riding mine on warm summer mornings on empty rough asphalt roads through pine tree shadows – dodging potholes and blobs of sun melted pine sap. I had so many amazing summer days traveling to hideouts in the woods and reading comics. I still dream about traveling around my block as a kid almost every night. It has taken on some kind of mythical significance in my nightly hallucinations. As I travel through the secluded and uninhabited neighborhood of disjointed dream worlds I am drifting through ages of my life and emotional spans of time that I have mostly forgotten but still make up part of who I am.

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Scooter With a Fat Brony Rider

fat guy riding a vespa scooter

fat guy riding a vespa scooter

I love when fat people ride scooters. The contrast in size is shocking and funny. This guy’s name is Roscoe. His street name is Big Love. He is a dedicated Brony who rides his vespa scooter to the laundromat to pickup homeless chicks. He gets disability and he woos the ladies with his designer shoes and name brand laundry detergent. I love bronis. They may be fatties and insufferable aspies but almost all of them are friendly and good people. They are outsiders and they know they aren’t cool but that doesnt stop them from from having fun.

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Teen Stowaway Hawaiin Jet

Teen Stowaway Hawaiian Jet

Teen Stowaway Hawaiian Jet

This was a story in the news not too long ago where a teen stowaway hitched a ride in a Hawaiian flight’s wheel well. He nearly died. It is a very dangerous stunt to pull to get a free ride on a jet. Jets fly so high that you either freeze to death or you pass out from lack of oxygen and then fall onto the runway when the jet is landing. On a side note Hawaiian has a beautiful logo and paint scheme on their jets.

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